Sunday, July 4, 2010

You asked for my help

Some truths I have found...

Every time someone asks me for help or argues with me about my lifestyle I think this..

1. You are fat. I'm not.

Really, isn't that enough?

I find it funny that an overweight, out of shape person would argue with me about diet or exercise.

If your way is so great why isn't it working???? Please, PLEASE don't tell me 'you really don't eat much'.

Stop. You are lying. No, shush..not another word. You're a liar.

(yes, an infinitesimal amount of the population has an under-active thyroid)

But...I'm guessing the bag of Doritos has a bit more to do with it.

2. In an attempt to, I don't know, impress me...tell me you started 'walking' every day.

Unless you're a quadriplegic I'm not impressed.

Walking, even really, really fast will not un-do the damage of the shit food you're eating.

If weight loss is in fact your goal, what you eat is so much more important than working out.

3. "But I can't live without potatoes, bread, pasta, Twinkies..."

Seriously? An item of food is that important to you? Really? I don't even know how to answer that. Go away and enjoy your Twinkies, then. Embrace your fatness because with that attitude it's here to stay.

4. Lastly, IF you seriously want to change your life for the better and really want my help, I'll go out of my way to help you get there .


  1. Perfect. Of course nobody will actually listen to you as most people just take the time your are talking to make up another excuse, as opposed to taking your advice.

  2. Brilliant. In love it, and am constantly, CONSTANTLY bombarded with this barrage of interrogation

    "are you rally going to eat the fat of that meat?" uh, he'll yeah I am. "but what bout your cholesterol, your body fat, " uh low cholesterol and almost single digit body fat, oh and by the way, cholesterol converts to testosterone, so that probably why you have man boobies, just saying'

    I love your brutal honesty, which I also employ. I recently got into it about longevity of our ancestors....well they didn't live as long, BULLSHIT

    My scientifically backed stronger argument fell ondef ears and the same person just this past weekend started in again, so obviously does not care to listen or hear the real facts. So welcome to heart break/attack city....

    Great blog thanks,

  3. Thanks, guys! It's funny and sad how people rationalize the hell out of something they WANT to be true. I am brutally honest and have a low tolerance for bullshit. But, I truly mean it when I say if you really want help I'll help you.

    Unfortunately, most people don't want help, they want coddling....with a side of McDonalds :)

  4. But I love my Twinkies and long walks on the beach...

  5. You have no idea how many out of shape, overweight people were walking today. I have more respect for those who *tried* to run. Many were older people.

  6. Jacob, hahahahah...I'd rather hear someone just say, "fuck it...I'm gonna be a fatass and stuff food in my mouth every chance I get!" Than BS excuses :)

  7. Very well said BTW - have found that they say that thyroid disease may be linked to a poor diet in the first place... hmmm chew on that for a while. Mind you I have the problem myself and it could have been heriditary but my previous diet definately help.
    Happy to say I am changing it.